My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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