Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
