I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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