I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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