The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
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