Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
