Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
