Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
