are you still at the devil's house?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
