idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
