That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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