hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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