Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
