Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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