If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
