My cat gives me a boner
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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