Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
