It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
