On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
