Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
The beer is more important than you right now.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
