he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
