It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
