He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
