quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
