My balls are so social today.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
