Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize