Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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