Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize