Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I need a hoe opinion
go on
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize