What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
