How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
