On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Randomize
