bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize