White coat. Heels.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize