if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
