Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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