bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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