just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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