My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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