The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
