Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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