I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
