just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
