you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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