It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
