i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
