Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
