Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
My vagina just clenched in fear
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
