Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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