This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
