My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
