Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
