please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
