we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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