Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
