dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
