is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize