I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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