please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
So vagazzling was a success
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
