i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
