I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
