plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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