She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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