Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
