We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
you will always have a special place in my vag
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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