Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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