Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
