you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
