I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
