i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
