May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
