I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
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