a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
