That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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