I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
