im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
